The Purpose Of A Chair

Apr 21, 2010 by winjaw

A chair is designed for someone to sit on.  At least that’s what I thought.

And I assume most people think the same way. But when you are married to the Little Black Dress, all bets are off.  I now know, or rather am told, that certain chairs are not for sitting.

I understand the idea behind never entering your grandparent’s “special” room – known as the parlor or drawing room or some such thing reserved solely for those special occasions – like a casket showing. I also understand the King Louis (fill in your number) chairs at Versailles, behind velvet ropes.

But the chair in question is smack dab in the middle of the room.  And the Sons of Thunder are banned from said chair, upon threat of loss of all electronics, and apparently that’s a lifetime threat.  

Fortunately, I am allowed on the chair. This provided I first take a shower, then wear new clothes. And place a towel down on the cushion. And then “fluff it” afterward. Whatever that entails.

Being a former journalist, I obviously had to ask the “why” question.

“Because the fabric is too perfect,” the Dress replied.

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“But it’s a chair.”

“It’s perfect and I am not going to have the Sons destroy it and I’ll let you sit on it …”

That trailing off was a very explicit implication that if said chair ever got a smudge yours truly would not be able to sit for some time.

So I have this chair in my living room/den that the Sons are forbidden to even approach, and I’m not about to sit on it.  And I still don’t quite get what I’m missing here.

Any help?