Everyone Needs A Sam – Chapter Three Excerpt

Jun 7, 2010 by

Chapter Three of my book, Everyone Needs A Sam, is titled “A Sam Is Not Always Your Best Friend.”

Sometimes they are, sometimes they shouldn’t be. A true Sam will risk a friendship to ensure you stay on the right path. A best friend – sometimes – is the one who gets you in trouble. Sometimes, not always.

I invite you to visit Sam’s web site here, to learn more about the book and how you can participate.

Following is an excerpt from Chapter Three:  

Our best friends often times know things about us that our spouses don’t. They are about as close to being a spouse as you can get. They know all your stuff. Unfortunately, sometimes they are closer than your spouse. And that’s not a good thing. If that’s the case, your priorities are wrong, because that means there’s something you’re hiding.

Your spouse should be No. 1. You are allowed only a few secrets from your spouse — things like the surprise two-week vacation trip to Hawaii you’ve promised for 10 years.

Your friends are your Sams. The issue is whether they should be. The deciding factor is simple. The Bible says “wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy,” (Proverbs 27:6) and “the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” (Proverbs 27:9).

If you can read those two scriptures and say, “yep, that’s Tom,” then Tom is a Sam. If not, get a new friend. Real friends, real Sams, are going to hold you accountable. They are going to tell you the truth. To borrow from Proverbs 17:17, “a ‘Sam’ is always loyal.”

The key is that they are loyal to your best interests. They are not loyal to your stupidity or your decision to do wrong. They are not going to play your game. A true Sam is going to say “no” more than they will say “yes.” And they will fight you, risk that friendship, to keep you on the right path.