Missing letters

Jan 22, 2016 by

Ever get some jingle going and it won’t stop?

I don’t mean a jingle like coins in your pocket, but rather some tune you heard on the radio or with one of those awful television commercials about breath mints, Viagra, feminine products or cat litter.

Right now mine is “Cups” aka The Cup Song, aka “You’re Going To Miss Me When I’m Gone,” aka “Please Stop Right Now.”

I cannot shake it. Actress and comedian Anna Kendrick did it in the movie Pitch Perfect. She sings the song, makes a little drum like instrument out of a red cup and it won’t stop. She also made a video and did the routine on David Letterman.

Miss New York, who became Miss America, won in part because of a little routine with a red cup during the talent portion, except she did it to the song “Happy.” As an aside, that song is totally misnamed because after you hear it once, you will never be happy when it continues to play over and over on the radio.

Anyway. Despite Miss Kendrick being absolutely hysterically funny and adorably cute, she needs to get out of my head. At least the cup and its song. I almost started tapping it out during a newsroom meeting.

I know these people. They will not only have me committed, but will write about it as well. Front page probably. With photo.

Anyway, I bring this up because, I am very sad to say, the Little Black Dress lost her i.

Please note I said “i” and not “eye.” There is a difference.

As I recall, she has also lost her “m.” I was going to have her text me to see if I missed one, but realized she couldn’t.

See, the “i” and “m” – both lower and uppercase, no longer work on her iProductYouSpentWayTooMuchOn.

So if there is another letter that doesn’t work, the “n” might be it, she can’t type it and text me because it doesn’t work. Understand? I think the “t” is iffy as well.

This is actually pretty complicated. Try going a day without using a specific letter. You can’t select “Q” because we all know “Q” married “U” so you have to take them both.

Make phone calls to as many people as you can with the understanding you can’t use the number “7.” Your circle of friends will drop dramatically.

It gets more complicated. The LBD overcame a rather severe childhood learning disability. And I am very proud of her. Yet sometimes certain words and just spelling in general can get hard, especially using that tiny keyboard on the iProductYouSpentWayTooMuchOn.

And she will be the first to admit typing is not her strong suit, whereas that’s what I do during a big portion of my day.

So combining the two notes above, she might send me a text that reads “dnne tots?

After 20 plus years, I know this says “dinner thoughts?”

Unfortunately, that same text now might read “dnr tos.” I’m guessing “do not resuscitate Toto.”

Sometimes the “i” or “n” or whatever might actually work. Not often enough so she is becoming quite adept at using the autocorrect feature and forcing the iProductYouSpentWayTooMuchOn to spell correctly for her.

However, we all know the disasters of autocorrect fails.

The one small glimmer is that said device works perfectly fine in landscape mode. I have no idea why.

I know The Dress misses those letters now. But I can assure you I will not miss Cups when it finally gets out of my head.

Until next time.

 

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