The Perfect Pencil
There really is one. And it really goes by that name. So to all the copyright attorneys out there, consider that sufficient trademark acknowledgement.
Back to pencils.
At their core, pencils are effortless. No booting up, no freezing, no viruses. Just write.
The only drawback to pencils is carrying them. I don’t “do” pocket protectors and to me, those mechanical pencils you click aren’t really pencils. Those things are like man purses. They just don’t count.
You need a wooden pencil. Yet a good wooden pencil needs a sharp point. And the problem is you’ll either poke your eye out or scream when you sit down and that pencil in your pocket jabs into your leg. Not manly.
Enter the Perfect Pencil.
This little gizmo solves all the problems with carrying around a wooden pencil.
One Piece
It comes with a cap, and a clip. So, you don’t have to worry about stabbing yourself and getting lead poisoning and eventually amputation. With the clip, you can carry it in your pocket sans nerd alert pocket protector.
And following in the footsteps of the infamous Ginsu knives, “But wait, there’s more!”
This baby comes with a detachable section that includes a pencil sharpener. Ta da! Life is good.
The Perfect Pencil is made by Faber-Castell, which according to its web site, can trace its origins back to the Visigoths era. Apparently, the pencils were originally used as small crossbow darts during castle sieges. But as peace reigned throughout the land, they came up with another use.
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With Cap Off
A new pencil with the cap on measures just over six inches. You can get the pencils in retro black or something akin to brown. The cap is silver.
The set is a little pricey – $40 for the cap/sharpener and three pencils. I got mine at Pen City, but I also found it somewhere for the absurd price of $250.
Of course, this one charged by the adjective: To wit, “premium pencil in precious Californian cedar with fine fluting and replaceable eraser. Extender with integrated sharpener and multi-part spring-clip. Finished in silver, platinum or Sterling silver plating.”
But let’s not stop there. You can also go for the $495 “desk set.” Again, multiple adjectives: “This is a gift set which contains 4 additional pencils. All these items are presented in a beautiful alder wood with hand finished glass lid. Packaged includes: Silver plated extender, built-in sharpener, 4 pencils, erasers, pencils refills. Complete with a glass lid desk top packaging.”
Amazing what an extra pencil and a glass lid will set you back. Seriously, it’s a friggin pencil. In reality, what you’re paying for is the
cap/sharpener. You can use the same pencil you used at school, it fits.
The only difference with the Faber pencils is that they are round, verses the many-sided ones. But again, whatever floats your boat.
With Sharpener Extended
If you are not going to make it through the day without seeing what a $250 cap/sharpener/pencil looks like, go here. And if you need to spend your lottery winnings with the desk box, click here.
If you can restrain yourselves, the everyman version is here.
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wow…. “mechanical pencils are like man purses”. as an engineer by trade (read “nerd”) that little jab hits really close to the family jewels. I use them all day, every day… but then again I don’t typically carry them in my pants pockets, so haven’t endangered myself with a random stabbing lately.
as a frugal guy (read “cheap-as-hell”) $40 for a weird-looking gizmo to sharpen a pencil and protect myself from random pokes seems a bit pricey… $250 is out of this world. I could buy 8 or 10 sweet mechanical pencils (you know, the girly ones I have to click) for $40.
old-school wooden no. 2 pencils just seem to remind me of grade school years. oh yeah, and those awful multiple choice exams in high school (ACT, SAT, etc), college & afterwards (engineering exams), etc where you have to sit and fill in all those stupid little ovals with your favored no. 2 pencils – all without ever venturing outside the oval lines, and yet ensuring full coverage of lead in the oval at the same time… all under the awful time limits required for those tests.
good luck with your new gadget. I’ll stick with my clickety-click girly mechanical pencils for now.
Okay, so you win the “best comment” of the day/week. I’m seriously having trouble writing this because I’m still laughing.
No offense to engineers. As a journalist, I used to cover the production of the nuclear materials used in our atomic weapons program. All I did was talk/interview engineers. They have a special gift. I don’t understand the way they think, but I understand/appreciate their gift. Different worlds.
Honestly, the main reason I hate mechanical pencils is because I could never get the new piece of lead to fit and stay after the old one was toast. I’d put it in, and every time I go to write, the stupid lead slips out. Try writing like that. I’m having to hold the pencil down and when I lift up, out goes the lead. Friggin hate that. Once that first piece of lead was gone, so was the pencil for me.
The price is rather absurd. It’s a gizmo. I guess the point is that it’s a one-time purchase. You’re really buying the cap/eraser part. Pencils are free with the test. Of course the test costs 80 percent of your property tax, but you get the pencil at least.
And let’s face it. Girls like to gnaw on pencils. And when you were in fifth grade and had your eye on that pretty little girl in the front row, and she dropped her pencil – you saw those teeth marks. Total love. And you tried to keep the pencil. And the girl was like, Dude, give me back my pencil. Never happens with a mechanical pencil. Cute girls don’t do mechanical pencils – until they’re older, and they’re designing the latest nuclear weapons device. Which when you think about it is pretty hot, but that’s a whole other subject.
I’ll see what I can do on getting you that exclusive “California redwood” version. Of course, it’s California, so you have to wait for a tree to fall. Based on the price, maybe we can swap that for a new sunfish?
The big question is – do you have a pocket protector?
cheers and thanks for writing.
ok, slow down – don’t lump me in with the nukes just because I called myself a nerd… they take things to a whole. nuther. level. and I have never owned a pocket protector. although I won a slide rule in high school – never learned to use it, but still have it buried in a drawer somewhere.
I think in nerd circles that slide rule would elevate me to the highest ranks, but probably only if I passed the infamous “slide rule vs calculator” speed test. I’ve been told by folks nerdier than I that there used to be special holsters to wear on your belt to carry around your slide rule. I think we can both agree that’s much much worse than a fanny pak.
5th grade? let’s see… I remember being a kickball grand-master. I remember chew marks on pencils… but I must be a tad nerdier than I thought, cause I don’t recall getting googly-eyed over Susie in the front row. and this will probably officially tip the scales… I do remember getting in trouble for reading Dragonlance books (Christian school – they told me those kind of books are satanic).
seriously, while on that subject – they tried to feed me a line of BS that all these certain types of things are satanic. honestly, here’s a list of a few of them they mentioned:
Care Bears (you know, cute cuddly pink bears, rainbow powers and all)
Smurfs (those freaky little blue fellers)
Unicorns (horses with horns… and powers)
alright, my memory is fading – it was mostly mythical creatures and cool stuff like that. they didn’t specifically say Transformers, but if they had, my world might have come crashing down.
ok, back on track to the nerds and pencils… and seriously now – buy yourself a $5 Pentel mechanical drafting pencil. they last forever, and don’t normally have the soft lead/soft grip phenomenon you hinted at (are we still talking about pencils?)
take care – I enjoy your blog, and blog jousting with you.
I shall try the $5 Pentel draft, but I really do prefer wood or whatever fake composite they use now.
I remember those slide rulers, never could figure out how to put the battery in though. Oh wait …
cheers