These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things …

Sep 22, 2010 by winjaw

Topping the list are packing and moving. Those rank up there with hitting my thumb with a hammer; or being tied up with rats eating my fingers.

Yes, we are once again starting a new nightmare, or rather adventure if one looks from the half full perspective. We are becoming one with wrapping paper, boxes and tape guns.  All three said elements are costing yours truly a small fortune. Have I mentioned how much I hate moving?

After being in Oklahoma a little more than a year, we are heading back to Georgia – and back into our old home. So at least we’ve got that going for us.  The Sons of Thunder are pumped and the Little Black Dress loves that house, so we’ve got those things going for us as well.

And we’ve got wrapping paper, boxes and tape guns, so we don’t have that going for us. Oh, and we’ve got our “stuff” to pack. Or rather, The Dress’ stuff. My stuff fit into four boxes. I’m done.  

Just a few observations:

–  There is a lot of irony, and the costing kind. Said irony here is not nine months ago, we had several rather large bonfires. The subject of the bonfires? Boxes and boxes and even more boxes used to pack the stuff to get us here. And now? I’m buying boxes and boxes and even more boxes.

–  Speaking of boxes. Figure out how many you really think you need, then multiply that by 23.76. Then double it.

– Tape guns are made of pure evil forged from Mount Doom.  You will cut/stab/puncture/lacerate yourself countless times with the sharp edge. Said sharp edge rarely actually cuts the tape; instead, when you try to cut the tape you actually just yank out more tape. That leads to getting up in search of a knife, and also wasting about six feet of tape.

– And speaking of tape – it sticks to any and everything but its purpose, namely the friggin box. The tape will stick to you and you will rip all the hair off your arm trying to get it off. That will hurt. It will stick to the tape gun, causing you to yank on the tape, causing about 11 feet of tape to come flying out once you, hopefully, get the tape unstuck.
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– Those boxes. You know the ones. The ones you’ve moved seven times and have yet to unpack. Yep, they are going.

– You and your significant other will have fascinating “discussions” about what is and what is not going. If you have your own Little Black Dress, understand this: you will lose. And they will start searching around for your one thing you want to take and harp and harp on that. This despite the fact your own LBD has about 713 of those “one” things that must go.

– Yes, she will take all those decorator magazines. Don’t go there.

– If, as happened in our first load back to Georgia, the guy you hired to pack up the Uhaul brings his son because his regular helper wasn’t available, realize you are hosed. You are more hosed if said packer/loader collapses from heat stroke about half the way through. And yes, you will end up packing the rest of the truck yourself. The financial bummer to all this is you realize you pack better than the pros.

– An aside to the above. Hire some people you know, or who know people you know even if it’s twice removed. Pay them absurdly high hourly rates. They are worth the investment.

– Realize that “this too shall pass.” Also saying “we will get through this” several times each day is wise. And when your significant other says something like, “it’s really coming along,” just nod your head and smile.

– If you happen to be driving one of those big Uhaul or similar type trucks yourself, realize gas is based on minutes driven, not miles per gallon. And make sure you plot out your gas stops. Those nice little convenience stores are nearly impossible to get out of. Trust me. Once, we waited about 30 minutes for a clear path to escape. It could have been much worse.

And yes, we will get through this.