Repost – Obligatory Day

Feb 14, 2012 by winjaw

Sometimes I’m a glutton for punishment. Today is one of those days.

I wrote the following column years ago. And for some reason, I always repost it around this time.

Here you go:

I’d like to pass on some important information I learned the hard way. This is addressed primarily to those young men just starting to date, but it also applies to those who, after years and years, still don’t get it.

Women take Valentine’s Day seriously. Very seriously.

If you remember this, you probably will live and prosper. If you forget it, do so at your own risk.

I learned this painful truth about six years ago. The setting was a Sunday school class for newly married couples at National Presbyterian Church in Washington, D.C. I believe the time was 10:32 a.m.

Our teacher was discussing the upcoming Valentine’s Day and asking each of us what we planned to do with our spouses. When it came my turn, I made “the comment.” Basically, what I said was that I wasn’t crazy about Valentine’s Day because it was one of those “obligatory days.”

There was a stunned silence, followed by war whoops from the men, shootting dagger stares from the women and a punch in the arm from my wife. After that, I believe my wife said something to the other women about not knowing who I was and that her husband was on a business trip.
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Now, before all the women in Grand Island lynch me, let me try to explain. Of course, I’m still trying to explain that comment to my wife after six years. To her credit, she can sort of kid about it now – sort of.

I’m one of those who just doesn’t like being told I have to do something “special” just because some big company turned it into some marketing gimmick. Why do I have to be extra special on one particular day versus another? I love anniversaries. That’s a day I picked – OK, my wife picked – and we chose that day to celebrate our marriage.  But I have a real problem with Hallmark, florists and the balloon companies telling me I have to be “extra” special on Feb. 14.

Personally, I try to be as good as a husband as I can every day. I mean, isn’t that the point? I send my wife flowers just because, although I’m sure she doesn’t think I do it enough, but she appreciates the attempt. I see something in a store I know she wants, and I buy it, just because.

Yet woe to me – and you – if we don’t go all out on Valentine’s Day. To my credit, however, I’ve learned my lesson. This year, I went the balloon route, complete with cards from my sons and myself. And we always try to get her some fun little things too.

Ironically, and I think this is true for most husbands, we usually end of ahead on Valentine’s Day. I think I’m in the frequent buyer club with Victoria’s Secret.  Somehow they tracked me down from Alaska to Grand Island, and I’m getting catalogs left and right. Now, I know she appreciates the thought, but do we men sometimes buy our wives things on Valentine’s Day for her or for us?

My wife, to her credit, is much better at Valentine’s Day than I am. I get all kinds of little presents and fun redeemable coupons.  But she’s the romantic, while I’m the helpless bumbling fool just trying to make amends for a comment I made six years ago.

Deep down, I still think it’s an obligatory day. But if it keeps me out of the doghouse, well, then that’s the way it is.  So young men, pay attention and learn.  Remember, Valentine’s is an obligatory day, and it’s one where you’d better not forget your obligation.

Until next time.