Sunday’s Column – Breaking The Habitual Habit

Let’s just say it’s quite the mood changer.

I am trying another route. It’s more for the SONs of Thunder and The Dress than for me. The former repeatedly come home after every DARE presentation by the sheriff’s office and give me the earful. Sheriff Yeager — you have good people in that program. Trust me.

Anyway, we’re now trying electric or e-cigarettes. The more astute will point out they are still cigarettes. Correct, but instead of inhaling everything from carbon monoxide to rat poison to 50 other things I can’t pronounce, I’m only inhaling about five unknown things. And honestly, after my previous failures, I’m all about baby steps.

Advantages — they don’t stink. Which means I don’t stink. They let out a water mist or something. And I don’t have to deal with dumping the butts. I don’t nearly burn down the house because I dropped a cigarette in a flower bed covered in pine straw and it hadn’t rained for weeks, which goes to show that dried things light up fast.

So my kit comes in the mail the other day. First off, they look like cigarettes. The longer part (where tobacco is in a regular cigarette) is actually the battery. I am given two — long and short. I am given a USB charger that I can plug into any USB outlet — like a computer — and charge away. I have a car charger and a wall charger. And if you are really, really desperate and both batteries have died, they have another battery attached to a cable and you simply plug the other end into a USB cable and puff away. The cord is like eight feet long.

The nicotine comes in a variety of flavors — apple, chocolate (which cannot be sold in California) and other Starbucks-related smells. I went with tobacco. Said nicotine and the other four things I can’t pronounce are in what is known as the Flavormax Cartomizer. These guys have thought of everything. The Flavor thingy looks like the filter end of a regular cigarette and you simple screw the two pieces together.

But the best deal about my kit is the green card. Credit card-sized, it lets others know I’m now in the Green Smoke Club and am accorded certain privileges. The card informs the concerned other party that I omit no offensive odors nor produce any ash and therefore am not subject to many state and federal no-smoking laws.

“Please allow this club member to continue using their Green Smoke unit in your establishment or transport vehicle,” it plainly states. And if there are any questions, they have provided a helpful number to answer opponents’ questions.

I am so pumped to blow this in some airline pilot or TSA agent’s face and just watch their reaction when I pull out my card.

Am I still smoking? Yes. Am I where I want to be? No.  But I realize a bad habit and am doing the best I can to change. And in the end, that’s all anyone can do.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts; your thoughts become your words; your words become your actions; your actions become your habits; your habits become your values; your values become your destiny.” (Mahatma Gandhi)