Weekend Column: Times Are A-Changin’

May 18, 2015 by winjaw

I’m beginning to realize a few things as I get older.

One, well, I’m getting older. Two, I’m getting more conservative. Either that or everyone else is getting way more liberal.

I’m not talking about politics necessarily, but cultural norms. What was taboo a couple of decades ago is now routine, and would not even merit a shrug. And I’m noticing it more and more with television commercials.

Back in my day (I am finally at an age where I can actually use that term) couples were always shown with separate twin beds in their bedroom, if the bedroom was even shown. Now, we have threesomes during the daytime soaps.

I remember the cigarette commercials. Two slogans that are still in some deep recess of my mind are “I’d walk a mile for a Camel” and “I’d rather fight than switch.” For some reason, I can’t remember what brand that latter one was. Those commercials are now long gone. But we have a myriad of ads on how to quit – from pills to patches to Ouija boards.

Bra commercials (“unmentionables” a century ago) were interesting. They were shown on a mannequin with the presenter highlighting the cross back and some comfort something or other.

Now we have commercials highlighting the upcoming Victoria’s Secret show.

I’ve written in the past about the first time the SONS of Thunder saw the Angels prancing down the catwalk for the upcoming Christmas show. The SONS were in the midst of a heated argument about who was about to be kicked off some survival-type show when Alexandra popped up in the commercial. Noise went from 180 decibels to zero in a nano second. First time I’ve ever seen jaws actually drop.

They, too, are getting older, and at an age where somethings are just downright embarrassing for them to watch – especially if the Little Black Dress is in the vicinity.

Let’s take those awesome menstrual cramps. Eldest will laugh, Middle will walk out the room muttering words like “gross” and “disgusting.” Youngest will turn beet red and slink down into his chair while trying to cover his ears.

They know way more than they need to know about said cramps, from trying various organic pain pills to something called the Allay relief patch that has a tiny microchip that emits beeps to eating only raw vegetables beginning four days before pain.

Come to think of it, I know way more than I need to about cramps as well.

The other day the SONS and I agreed we were getting way too much information. This would be related to an ad for the little blue pill – Viagra. It might have been for Cialis, but I’m not sure what color pill is its nickname. Yellow? Green? I don’t know.

Now the original ads concerning this issue were okay, in the sense they were tasteful. A couple somewhere in their 50s or 60s are sitting on the deck holding hands and being all sweet and stuff. The announcer does his spiel about being ready when the mood strikes and we’re done.

The latest version features a supermodel-type lying on a bed in some exotic location wearing something from the aforementioned Victoria’s Secret line. In a very sultry voice she basically says take the pill and let’s have great sex.

And this is in prime time.

Eldest starts laughing. Middle leaves and starts his muttering. Youngest turns beet red and melts into his chair while covering his ears. And before I can open my mouth the LBD says, “Don’t say a word.”

Maybe I’m not becoming as conservative as I thought. I seriously doubt I’d be writing about the Angels and happy pills and cramps and sex in a column twenty years ago.

Until next time.