Girly M&Ms

Mar 27, 2009 by winjaw

They make them and I never knew.

Somehow my inexhaustible supply of M&Ms were exhausted. The Little Black Dress and I have certain understandings. I put the lid down, she keeps an ample supply of chocolate around.

Back to the missing M&Ms. Not that I would ever accuse  No. 1 son, No. 2 son or No. 3 son, or some combination thereof. Never. But anybody missing their Lego toys lately?

So tonight I’m searching for my chocolate fix and the Little Black Dress smiles and says, “I got you some M&Ms – pantry door, eye level.”

I look. Nothing.

“Pantry door, eye level,” she repeats with that “if I get up and get them for you that’s all the ‘getting’ there is tonight” tone.

I’m not stupid. I look again. Really, really hard. Really hard. Big black bag, how hard is this?

“In the white bag!”

Since when do M&Ms come in a white bag?

But if the Little Black Dress says they’re in a white bag, well, what do you know, they are in a white bag.

M&Ms in a white bag?

“Um, why are they in a white bag?
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“IT’S EASTER!!!!

Okay.

But hey, I have M&Ms and the world is back on its axis and I open up the bag and …

“Uhm, they’re pink, and canary yellow and some weird purple and fuchsia and I think mauve and um, robin blue.”

(Quick aside: I live with the Little Black Dress. She knows seven shades of fuchsia, I mean the friggin name of each. I learn.)

“IT”S EASTER!!!! … They taste the same inside.”

Trust me, a pink M&M tastes nothing like a cancer-driving, “we’re the government and we’re going to remove them because they make men infertile and put hair on women’s belly buttons and give your kids three legs … Because We Said So” RED M&M.

Sorry, another aside. Many of you young web types may not get the above reference. Yes, they were removed for a time.  Just Google it.

So, I have to eat the friggin fuchsia and purple and canary yellow and all the other Lifestyles of the Girly Men colored M&Ms because the Little Black Dress is watching and it’s important, very, very important, to … you get the point.

Gentlemen, file this. A black bag of M&Ms does NOT taste the same as a white bag of M&Ms. And honestly, you are going to look like a girl eating them.

But, if your Little Black Dress says there’s no difference, well, it’s your call.