I Am Losing This Battle

Jul 6, 2009 by winjaw

One of the first things any self-respecting man does upon arriving at the new domicile is set up the stereo system.

We must have tunes to unpack.

Creating a home, a “nest,” and anything related to the word “decor” are left to the significant other; in this case, the Little Black Dress.

But the stereo, speakers and related wires must be found quickly and set up so I can get myself in the mood to unpack the other “stuff.”

What would seem a relatively simple process is turning into a battle, one I am losing.

On one side are decor, ambiance, fluidity, seamless transitions and other babble yanked from Architectural Digest. On the other side are my speakers and wires. I am losing. 

Let us celebrate the speakers: Definitive Technology BP 2002’s. Two nearly four-foot high towers of pure power.  Bipolar technology with a friggin built-in subwoofer. You have to plug these babies into the wall for power. Oh, and they weigh about 75 pounds apiece.

And yet more: two 1″ pure aluminum dome tweeters; two 5 1/4 high definition upper base/midrange drivers; one 12-inch cast basket subwoofer. That’s per speaker.

And yet more: frequency: 18 Hz to 30kHz; impedance campatible with 8 Ohms output; sensitivity equal to 92dB; and an internal amplifier power of 125 watts.

Okay, so I have no idea what that last paragraph meant, but it sure sounded cool.

“They’re speakers,” said the Little Black Dress.

“They are works of art,” I respond. Truthfully I might add.

“I don’t want to see them.”

“But they’re black.”

“I don’t care, they stand out too much.” Now when the Little Black Dress says she doesn’t like something that’s black, all bets are off.

I am losing.

An aside in my defense – we bought these rather pricey art objects years ago in Alaska. And we’ve carted them all over the country. For the record, I would like to point out that when we were looking at speakers, the guy showed us a smaller version. And it was the Little Black Dress that wanted the bigger ones, which we ended up getting despite my strong objections that they were just too powerful.

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Yet it seems motherhood has sapped the “Love Of Big Electronic Toys” gene completely out of her system.

Back to the battle, er, discussion. the LBD finally graciously agreed to “allow” me to put them up.

The fact I was pouting and muttering and slamming doors and basically being a baby probably had something to do with her SURRENDER.

I am winning this battle.

Maybe not.

I can put up the speakers, but they have to be in the corners. AND they will be placed behind the draperies/decor/ambiance/whatever.

I am losing this battle.

“You can’t put these works of art behind curtains. You can’t see them and it destroys the sound,” I point out.

“They’re speakers, I don’t care.” She has definitely lost that electronics gene. “And hide the wires.”

Oh yeah, the wires.

Because of the way the LBD has set up the furniture – based on flow and symmetry and aesthetically pleasing proportionality – there’s no way to hide the wires for the rear speakers and a second set of speakers further down.

And no, I have no intentions of buying wireless speakers when I have perfectly excellent wired speakers now. I mean these babies – rears and secondaries – rock. They … nevermind.

Now the Little Black Dress has pushed – quite hard I might add – for a floor carpet to “complete” her global vision of the same room where said speakers/stereo equipment are located.

And I will get it for her. And I will hide the rear speaker wires and secondary speaker wires under said carpet.

And the Little Black Dress will be happy with me for getting her the carpet. And I will be happy because I have my other speakers wired up.

I might win this battle after all.