The Minimalist And The Clutteralist

Sep 28, 2009 by winjaw

We are going to create some new words today.

At their core, a minimalist is a mnlst. A clutteralist, which probably isn’t a word anyway, is really a cluttereraleristtiist.

They both focus on stuff. One tries to eliminate stuff, the other collects stuff.  A mnlst has one of something; a cluttereraleristtiist has several, in different colors, assorted patterns and sizes.

One knows where everything is, because there isn’t that much in the first place. The other knows where everything is, in the sense of knowing it’s somewhere in the closet, which has become its own life-force, that has things moving inside it.

There is no doubt God has a mischievous side. Sometimes he enables these two polar opposites to attract. And get married.

And that would be me, and the Little Black Dress.

I have no problem with stuff, provided it’s used. If not, my mantra is sell it, give it away or throw it away. I love to give “stuff” away, or throw it away. I smile every time.

The LBD has no problem with stuff, provided there’s a lot of it. Her mantra is collect it, buy it and accept it from strangers. She smiles every time.

God is full of grace and He has given us more than we deserve. Because we (I) need it. The proof is in the fact we are still married. Unfortunately, we still have a lot of stuff.

The sheer enormity of “stuff” makes it very unlikely the mnlst will ever win.  The tsunami of stuff simply overwhelms, overtakes and overpowers the mnlst.  It’s too much to absorb.

I have one “stack” of stuff. The LBD has collections of stacks of stuff.  The irony of course is that my stack is always the problem stack, and must be moved/cleaned up immediately. Why is this?

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The LBD has Moleskine notebooks. Every one there is. And several other knockoffs – every color, every size. And she uses them, yet somehow gets frustrated because she can’t find the one among hundreds with the one phone number she needs right now. But she’s happy anyway amongst her stuff.

I read a magazine. I throw it away.

The LBD reads a magazine. Check that, she savors it; over and over again.  And then she puts it in one of our magazine libraries, located in every bathroom, every bedroom, the kitchen counter, the den (three libraries there alone) and anywhere else she can find that calls out for a stack of stuff.

It is impossible for me to throw anything away, especially if it’s “not mine.”  Sometimes I can’t even throw away my own stuff. Why?  Because the LBD, and all cluttereraleristtiist, immediately sense a weakening in the Stuff Force.

Said object will be found, and will be returned to its rightful place. And the mnlst will get “that look.” And then the mnlst will retreat with head hung low to await another day.

Eventually, the mnlst comes to the realization they will not win. The question is whether they go to the Dark Side of the Stuff, or continue in some small rebel base.

And from that base, quick lightening strikes are all they can hope for. They hope, and await, that day when the stuff implodes.

Or they find a match.

I am open to suggestions here. How does the mnlst show the cluttereraleristtiist the True Path?

Your ideas are welcome.  And appreciated.