The Little Black Dress Can’t Smell

Jan 31, 2010 by winjaw

Please note I did not say the Little Black Dress smelled or has a smell; rather, she can’t smell.

Seems she developed a cold – and on our anniversary no less.  As we were somewhat restricted due to the ice/snow storm, she spent much of the day preparing her mom’s super-secret, passed down from ages past, meatball recipe.  All this was fine until she tried said meatballs and pointed out they had no flavor.

This immediately led the Sons of Thunder to “taste-test” said meatballs. The first tastes were inconclusive, requiring a second meatball for each, followed by “just one more.”  I nixed a fourth test as we wouldn’t have any left for dinner. But the SoTs gave their heartfelt approval.

That did not suffice for the LBT. Her thinking was since she couldn’t smell, she couldn’t taste; therefore she could not enjoy the upcoming feast.

If the LBT is not happy, no one is happy. 

Adding fuel to the fire were the sausage/onion/cheese-stuffed mushrooms.  Again, she could not “taste” said mushrooms so therefore could not enjoy them.

So we tried a little bruschetta. The Sons of Thunder pronounced the mixture “really hot.” This led to a contest among the Sons as to who could eat the most bruschetta before succumbing and quenching the alleged fire dish with water. There were tears, but not of pain. At least not physical “I broke my arm” kind of pain.

Even the LBT said the bruschetta was spicy; which gave me pause.

“I thought you couldn’t taste anything.”

“I can’t.”

“Well, how do you know it’s spicy?”

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“But if you can’t taste anything how do you know it’s spicy?”

“I SAID I CAN’T TASTE ANYTHING, AND IT IS SPICY.”

I gave up. You have to pick your battles.

So later we’re sitting down to enjoy the LBT’s dinner, the one she can’t taste, and for some stupid reason I decide to give one of those “life lectures.” Since it’s our anniversary, I explain to the Sons how important this day is; the day we got married, the day we decided to start what would eventually be the family we have now.

And I suggest that from now on, we start the New Year on our anniversary rather than the actual New Year. You know, the family New Year.  Wasn’t that deep?

And while I’m at it wouldn’t this be a good time for the Sons to start the New Year right by agreeing to do what the LBT asks them to do the first time rather than some number in double-digits.  And one of the Sons get’s a little smarty and suggests they try for the fifth request to ease into this new proposed family policy.

Things are going downhill – I’m getting a little frustrated while at the same time getting the “cut-off” sign from the LBT.  Okay, so my feelings are hurt because I’ve got this great idea and I’m getting dissed. I give up.

And afterward, the LBT gives me that look and says, “timing Winters, timing.”

Oh well. It’s still a brilliant idea – that whole Family New Year thing.

And LBT – Happy Anniversary. Thanks for marrying me and thanks for the Sons.