For Once, The LBD Didn’t Stand A Chance

Apr 2, 2010 by winjaw

So the Little Black Dress and the Sons of Thunder are watching the elimination round of American Idol.

One contestant is definitely out of there, and the Sons are asking some questions about it.  Why do they do the elimination, are her feelings going to be hurt, why in the world would she go back and sing again if she lost, etc. etc. etc.

And so the LBD, as is her trait, starts in on what she calls the “life application” lesson.

And then the commercial came on.  

The middle Son’s jaw dropped. And yes, to the floor is an apt phrase. This in turn caused the eldest Son, who was not facing the television, to snap his head around so fast you could heard a crack.

And the youngest Son’s eyes got bigger, to borrow yet another cliché, than saucers.  And then he slowly sank down into the sofa.

A Victoria’s Secret commercial is in the house.

And for one of the few times in history, there is not a sound coming from any of the Sons of Thunder. The only other time this freak of nature occurs is when there’s a loud crash.

At those times, there’s about a two-second period of complete silence. That is followed by increasingly higher decibels of “he did it.”
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Anyway, the LBD gave one of her “oh good grief” sighs and surrendered. Now, unfortunately I was out of the room at the time. However, I got quite an earful from the Dress about the timing of said commercial during family viewing time and the like.

And, to use yet another cliché, the Sons are just looking at me with a “cat got the canary” kind of look. I don’t know, I’m into clichés for some reason today.

But I’m getting the “look” from the Dress so I know I’d better say something – something other than “I missed what?’ with lots of exclamation points and “oh snap.”

So I try to explain to the Sons that those women aren’t really real, and no we don’t go around wearing next to nothing and the only way they can look like that is to have a lot of help and they are starving to death and it’s not what’s on the outside but what’s on the inside that counts and that’s just demeaning to women and what if your mom wore something like that …

Hey, wait a second.

“Give it a rest,” the Dress said.

So I did. And while the LBD is off looking for the network number to call in, the Sons are giving me the raised eyebrow look. And I’m like “not now guys.”

But I am glad they are growing up to appreciate art.