The Lost Files – A Father’s Advice For His 4-Year-Old

May 17, 2010 by winjaw

The Lost Files were weekly columns written back around 2001-2003 while I was running a newspaper in the Midwest. They seem to have disappeared from the Internet, probably after some redesign of the newspaper’s web site. So, from time to time, I’ll report some of my favorites from saved hard copies (that’s paper to you new media types).

Today is the eldest Son of Thunder’s birthday.

Eight years ago I wrote a newspaper column for him for his fourth birthday. I was rereading it and realized what I wrote still holds true. Interesting how some things remain constant.

And so, here’s the Lost Files column from years ago:

Dear Caleb:

It seems like yesterday that I was out fly fishing in Alaska when your mom called and said it was time to go to the hospital.

I helped deliver you and have to say you were smaller than the salmon I had caught a few hours earlier. and let’s face it, you felt pretty much like that fish.

But that was four years ago. and now, as you constantly remind me, you have just celebrated your fourth birthday. You are growing up so

quickly – too quickly.

Already you’ve developed your own personality and your favorite things. Like the Power Pants you always want to wear or the Spiderman underwear. You’re also into Superman on certain days.

And if I may be so bold, let me suggest that you always be careful of whom you pick for heroes. It’s easy to pick the big athlete or the superhero, but remember they put their pants on one leg at a time like you’re learning to do.

While the world may idolize them, they are human. And dear Caleb, remember I’ll take you any day of the week. It’s all right to have heroes, just make sure they have the same values as you do.
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I want you to know how much I love our time together. I cherish every minute, even when I say I’m tired and really don’t want to play swords anymore. Especially with all your rules – like I have to stay still while you come charging at me full speed and whack me on the ankle and I can’t fight back.

I’m thankful that as you’ve grown up, you’ve gone along with my various sporting activities. You never whined while I put you on my back and took you fly fishing. Even when I snagged your ear with a fly, you didn’t tell mom. Good boy.

Or the time I took you along while I played golf and you rode in the cart. At least you did until we hit that turn and you stood up and went flying out. Again, thanks for not telling mom. There are just some things that should be kept between a father and son.

It’s your birthday, and as I did with your little brother on his day, I want to pass along some things that I hope you’ll take to heart.

Find a sport you love and one you can play the rest of your life. You’ll make lifelong friends who share your passion. It doesn’t matter if you are the best, just do your best and remember that tomorrow you can go out and try again if you had an off day.

Never settle for second-best; be it a job, grades, friends, sports or whatever. In everything you do, do your best and be satisfied with a job well done. Never be afraid to say you don’t know how to do something or don’t know the answer. Ask and learn.

Save 10 percent of everything you make, give away 10 percent and live on the remainder. You will be rich for life – and not just in a monetary way. Keep on asking questions like you do now, even when it seems I get exasperated because I can’t tell you exactly why the sky is blue or what blue is.

Never give up learning and never give up that smile you have that brightens the entire room. Remember your mom and I love you no matter what, and we will always have your best intentions at heart.

Make friends with people who will hold you accountable for your actions. Remember that a true man is one who takes responsibility for what he does, regardless of the outcome.

Never sweat the small stuff, but take care of them. The big things will take care of themselves. Be passionate about everything you do and make sure you enjoy what you do – whether it be sports or a job or just life itself.

And as I told your brother on his special day, make sure you marry a woman like your mom, you’ll never go wrong.

Until next time.

Happy birthday Caleb 🙂