You Call That A Collection? I’ll Show You A Collection

Sep 9, 2010 by winjaw

Some people are fairly normal with their collecting hobbies: stamps, coins, pocket watches and baseball cards. Normal stuff.

Others push it a little. My old roommate collected antique fishing lures. Now this was not just some collection, it’s one of the finest in the country. And he displayed them throughout our house in those old jewelry display contraptions; the kind you see in, well, a jewelry store.

The Little Black Dress collects magazines. And we’re not talking first edition comic books either. No, it’s those decor/style/furnishing/yeah with three Sons of Thunder my house will ever look this nice/clean kind of magazines. She likes to decorate. Now I suggested she just tear out the pages she likes and make one big book. You know, to replace the 573 magazines she has right now. That went over well.

I bring this up because we are once again moving – back to Georgia. This means of course said magazines are being boxed up like the family heirlooms or some such thing.

And all this made me realize I collect things too. They are known as storage sheds. To store our stuff. As a mnlst, this depresses me to no end. Unfortunately, the LBD is a cluttereraleristtiist.  

Why do I collect storage sheds? I don’t know, it goes against my very being. Okay, I do know – we have lots of stuff. And before The Dress gives me another look, there is some rationale – some – to all this.

It started when the LBD’s parents got sick and we decided to move back to Oklahoma to help them out. It also meant we put our Georgia house on the market. That of course resulted in getting Shed No. 1 (10X20 climate-controlled) because we had to store stuff so our house didn’t look like it had a lot of stuff.

With me so far?

Then, we decided to start bringing things down to Oklahoma in one of those Uhaul trailers. That led to shed No. 2 (10×20 non-climate) up here at the lake where we live. We took a couple of loads, which included furniture. That resulted in the need for a climate-controlled unit up here, so we now have shed No. 3 (10X15 climate-controlled).

Next, we had to move things out of the LBD’s parents’ house. That resulted in shed No. 4 (10×15, non-climate). Now the storage place up at the lake didn’t have any big climate-controlled units left, so when we made the big move from Georgia to Oklahoma we had to get one in Tulsa. Hello shed No. 5 (10X30 climate-controlled). Fortunately, we eventually were able to get rid of shed No. 3, transferring all that to shed No. 5 and shed No. 2. So we’re down to four sheds. I think. Oh, and we got rid of shed No. 1.

Still following all this?
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Small problem with shed No. 5 – the climate-controlled one down in Tulsa.  Seems they let bands rent them out to practice in. And truth be told, I think a lot of people live there. Anyway, these are all hard rockers and one day we open up our climate-controlled shed to find a completely new climate.

It smelled like a bar. Cigarettes, old beer, pretty much stank up everything. The Dress is not happy. That results in us having to pay movers to get the stuff out of shed No. 5 and bring it up to the lake. And that resulted in us getting shed No. 6 (10×30 non-climate) and shed No. 7 (10×20 climate-controlled). But we got rid of shed No. 5.

Let’s recap shall we?

We’ve now eliminated shed No. 1 (Georgia); shed No. 3 (small climate-controlled at the lake); and shed No. 5 (climate-controlled in Tulsa). That leaves us with sheds Nos. 2, 4, 6 and 7.  Oops, I forgot in all this chaos. Somewhere in all this we also transferred everything out of shed No. 4.

You think I’m done don’t you?

That would be a “no.” Because we recently drove a big 26-foot Uhaul truck down to Georgia. We tried to take us much as we could before we move back into our house. And that resulted in us needing to get shed No. 8 (10X25 non-climate) and shed No. 9 (10X15 non-climate) down there.

I’m having to write all these shed numbers down on a piece of paper to remember everything. When we got back to the lake we take a day off and then proceed to … wait for it … empty shed No. 6. Ta da.

So, as of this very moment, we only have sheds Nos. 2, 7, 8 and 9.

The goal is to keep shed No. 7 for furniture we won’t be using for now; transfer what’s left in shed No. 2 into shed No. 7. Oh, and get everything out of sheds Nos. 8 and 9 and into our Georgia house once we move back in.

If successful, that would leave us only one shed. Of course, having one shed is one shed too many, at least in my eyes. What is the point of storing stuff? But if I can get from five sheds in three different locations down to only one, well, let’s just take what victories we can.