The Completely Real, Totally Fake, Crab Bisque

Jun 1, 2011 by winjaw

We just got back from a long camping trip. I made this up one night – in a Dutch oven no less. There was nothing left.

It’s included in an upcoming book.

We were first introduced to this scrumptious dish back when we lived in Alaska. And being Alaska, our hosts used real King Crab, caught that morning.  It’s incredibly versatile, serve it as a soup dish or with a little extra, you can make it a meal all to itself.

And let’s face it, you might not have any real lobster or crab around, or maybe you just don’t want to shell out the bucks. You can make this with imitation crab or lobster and it’s almost as good as the real thing.  To make it more of a meal, you just add more cream or cheese. Basically, just make it thicker.

Like just about everything we cook, change it around to suit your tastes.  There’s really no one way to make this. Sometimes we make it thin and serve as a soup, sometimes really thick as a main meal.

One stick of butter

Three or four scallions

Three or four shallots

Large box of Velveeta cheese or Mexican cheese

Pint of Half and Half or milk

One large box (32 ounce) chicken stock
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Real or fake crab/lobster and as much as you want. When using fake, we use three to four packages you can find at any grocery store seafood section.

Pepper, cayenne or your favorite spicy seasoning.

We use a big pot to cook this in – like an eight-quart or so and wide.

Melt one stick of butter over low heat. Dice up the scallions and green onions and throw them in with the butter. Sauté for a couple of minutes to cook the onions and shallots, but be careful not to burn the butter.

Turn down the heat to low and pour chicken stock into the pot.  Velveeta as you know is very soft, so just start pinching off pieces and throwing them in the pot. With a large box, start off by using about one-quarter of the box. You want to let the cheese melt, but you need to keep the heat closer to low, medium-low so you don’t burn anything. A key is to keep stirring to ensure the cheese melts.

Add the milk or Half and Half. You can also use cream if you want it thicker.  Throw in some pepper, cayenne or whatever spicy seasoning you like.

Now just play around with it. Want it thicker? Just add more cheese. Sometimes when we make this for a meal, we literally use the entire box of Velveeta. It’s all up to you. Want it spicier? Just add more seasoning.

There is no right or wrong way with this – make it the way you want to.