Weekend Column – The List From …

Aug 11, 2014 by winjaw

There is one day during the year when the SONS of Thunder are actually up and out of bed before me.

Scratch that. There are two. One being Christmas morning, obviously. Obviously. I forgot that one, because I would have mentioned there were two. But I didn’t so … never mind.

The other is the first day of school.

Not only are they up before me, they are actually dressed. And by dressed I mean in clothes, not pajamas or something they’ve been wearing for the last week. And showers are actually taken and teeth brushed and … who are these people?

There is fear, trepidation, excitement, nervousness, anticipation and several other emotions all rolled up into this day – the first day of school.

But they are ready. Not only are the new clothes on, their backpacks are stuffed to the gills with an assortment of everything under the sun that could possibly fall under the category of “school supplies.”

Yes, we have gone through The List. Or, in our case, three separate lists. I think it would be much easier for kids to just walk through the school supply aisles and just grab one of everything. It would save time. At least that’s my opinion.

Yes, those lists.

In years past, the Little Black Dress has dutifully grabbed the aforementioned lists and, with SONS in tow, headed off to the Big Box Store of School Supplies. She will return with bags and bags and yet more bags of “stuff.”

She has spent what equates to a monthly mortgage – although I have always refused to actually look at the receipt – of the so-called must-have items. I can tell she spent a lot simply because the receipt actually unfolds like some papyrus scroll.

I will start looking through the so-called must-have “stuff” and ask where the pencils are. We forgot those. How about the loose-leaf paper? Nope. Spiral notebooks?
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“You go next time,” she retorted. “I get sensory overload.”

So I did. I took the SONS, complete with lists, to the Big Box Store of School Supplies. One thing The Dress told us we absolutely did NOT need were glue sticks. We apparently had enough to outfit not only the entire class, but the entire grade.

I tried something different this year. I gave them their lists and said, “Go. Get what you have to have, not necessarily what you want.”

We, or rather, they, finished fairly quickly. We spent about one-third of what the LBD would. We were quite proud of ourselves when we showed her our treasure.

“I told you we didn’t need glue sticks,” she said. I quickly glanced at Youngest SON, who dropped his head in shame.

Otherwise, we were good. Or so we thought.

Youngest came home from the first day of school with the look of shame. Apparently we, scratch that, HE (I’m not taking the fall on this one) got the wrong folders. The ones he got had brads in them and the list said the folders should have holes. Or the other way around, I don’t remember.

He’s in a funk. The Dress gives me an “ha, ha, think you are so perfect” look and promises to save the day and get Youngest the necessary folders first thing in the morning. Yes, supermom saves the day. Bah.

But The List is complete. We are done.

Until next semester.