The Falling Down Rule

Jul 28, 2015 by winjaw

I as watching a television show one night when Youngest SON of Thunder plopped down across from me.

“How was work?” he asked.

“Good,” I replied. “How was your day?”

“We have a new rule,” he said, pausing and then added, “for when you fall down the stairs. Mom made it up.”

Now what he said was, “We have a new rule … for when you fall down the stairs. Mom made it up.”

But what my mind heard was that “mom fell down the stairs.” Logical, right? So I asked Youngest if mom was okay. Just then the Little Black Dress walked into the room.

“You okay? Youngest said you fell down the stairs,” I said.

“I didn’t fall, what are you talking about … oh that,” she responded.

And before another word is spoken Youngest jumps back into the conversation, demanding that he explain this new rule.

Let’s set the stage: We have a two-story house. Stairs to the upstairs are near the front door. One side is a wall, the other the banister. Fairly typical. On said wall is a rather large painting recently acquired by the LBD. Said painting is roughly five feet by six feet.

Back to the rule. According to Youngest, if we are walking down the stairs and happen to trip/fall/whatever, we are to fall toward the banister side and not the wall where the painting is.

“What?” I ask. And Youngest repeats the aforementioned new “rule.”

“Are you serious?” I ask, turning to The Dress.

Still, for the time being, because its not making your hair stand on end, you’re happy to let these cialis levitra price HVFLA’s sit around and go unread in your inbox. Dealing with Cardiovascular and Sexual System Implications Multiple viagra cialis store factors contribute to both cardiovascular and sexual dysfunctions. This is called Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and it can afflict even the person he or she is without even realizing it. cheapest levitra You need to remember few things to draw traffic in your online on line viagra store. And she informs me that the painting does not have adequate framing so if someone were to fall and put their hand on the wall where said painting was to try and brace themselves their hand would go through the painting, which would ruin it and she loved that painting because it matched something somewhere in the house and she proceeded to remind me that she and a friend drove 20 miles per hour down a busy highway holding the painting in the back of a pickup truck to get it here, therefore if someone were to fall she wants them to fall toward the banister and not the wall …

I stare at my precious LBD for a moment. “You know I’m going to write a column about this.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Now The Dress, after 20 plus years of domestic bliss, knows that when someone tells me I can’t do something, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

“Just be nice to me … I love that painting.”

So we have this new falling down rule, and if you happen to visit, well, don’t say you didn’t know about it. Just fall to the right.

And I’m just kind of losing it in this conversation.

Now, when I’m on a roll, I just can’t stop. So I ask The Dress what happens if someone falls down the stairs (on the banister side, of course) and accidentally lands in The Chair – located near the front door and bottom of the stairs.

About The Chair. The Dress loves The Chair. So much so that no one is allowed to sit in The Chair.

Let’s pause and think about that for a moment. We have a chair that we, meaning the three SONS and myself, are not allowed to sit in. The reason is because it will crinkle (I believe that is the correct word) the fabric and it’s her favorite fabric of some type of large game animal and she is not going to allow a bunch of dirty boys to destroy her precious things, which includes said chair.

“You are not going to write about The Chair,” she said.

Yeah, right.

Until next time.