The Little Black Dress And The Dog Whisperer

Aug 19, 2011 by winjaw

One of the many things I admire about the Little Black Dress is she will not give up.

Yet The Dress is close to meeting her match in the Little Pink Bow. Unfortunately for said Pink Bow, there can be only one Alpha Female in this household. I fear for the Bow. The Dress has pulled out the big gun.

The Little Pink Bow first appeared with a dainty little, yes, pink bow around her neck. Weighing in at roughly five pounds, this rat terror precious canine goes by the name of Miss Roxie Love. The “Love” part of her name has rarely been mentioned lately.

I will give Miss Roxie credit – she has no fear and believes she can do anything. She has taken on not one, but four Rottweilers at once; she thinks she can fly; and she tempts death – as when she chewed up the LBD’s 40th birthday gift to herself, a pair of Via Spiga shoes.

She also likes to look at you, laugh, and then take off running with absolutely no chance of you ever catching her. On too many occasions, we would get a call from some neighbor where Miss Roxie decided to visit. This of course was after The Dress and the SONS of Thunder had spent an hour driving around the neighborhood with The Dress calling out “Here Roxie, here Roxie,” and with a battery-operated megaphone no less.

At some point the embarrassment factor kicks in and you have to take drastic measures. Which we did with one of those wireless radar contraptions. Basically, the precious pet wears a shock collar and if they go outside the boundary, well, I will say it was pretty dang funny watching Miss Roxie jump about 10 feet in the air the first time.

We got the absolutely smallest collar possible, but I swear it weighs almost as much as she does. But she rarely, ever, tries to leave the yard. And yes, the yard is fenced and no, that never stopped her before.

So everything is now resolved right? That would be a “no.” Because now she does “her business” in the house. All the time. This occurs even after she’s been outside for an hour. She will simply come in, disappear and pretty soon we have a new decoration on the carpets. Pee, poop, yes we get it all. And on white carpets no less.

Enter the Dog Whisperer.

I told you The Dress pulled out the big gun.

When I first heard of the plan, I was skeptical. I feared we’d all be spending time on the sofa searching our inner feelings and what Miss Roxie was missing in terms of feng shui and so on and so forth.

My fears were quickly erased as the Dog Whisperer basically just spent an hour watching and working with Miss Roxie. And then she called in the SONS and The Dress and gave the marching orders. Which to me pretty much sounded like treat the dog like a dog.

Set times for eating, set times for going “outside” to do her business, very specific areas of the house where she was and wasn’t supposed to be, when she should be in her crate. I mean the Dog Whisperer just had it down pat.

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One thing I learned was dogs equate carpet with grass – thus the “why yes I can poop and pee on it, it’s grass” routine on our aforementioned white carpet.

So we’ve barricaded off the upstairs, where all the carpet is, and started on this new routine.

That was yesterday.

And today everything seemed to work as planned. Miss Roxie went out, did her thing, spent some time in the crate, got fed, the upstairs was blocked off, the whole plan.

Except The Dress forgot to close off her office. Which is downstairs. Which has white carpet. Which Miss Roxie was kind enough to see as grass and leave a deposit.

Let’s just say the LBD’s office door is now closed.

So, ever used a Dog Whisperer? Let me know and we’ll keep you updated on how things progress with rat dog our precious Miss Roxie Love.