Gentlemen – You May Thank Me, Okay, Technically The Dress, Later

Nov 11, 2011 by

The Little Black Dress lost her keys.

Yes, those keys. The ones where you tear up the house because the kids are late for school and you can’t find the keys you left RIGHT HERE YESTERDAY AND WHO TOUCHED MY KEYS AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NEVER TO TOUCH MY KEYS.

Yes, those keys. The ones that start the car and open the front door. And on whatever key ring you choose to put said keys, there is always a key or two on there and you have no idea what it is for. But you will never take it off because one day you might remember and there’s this old lock and …

Yes, those keys. And that key ring, which I mentioned earlier. A person’s key ring  says a lot about one’s personality. The LBD’s includes a strap with a leopard pattern – see?

Anyway, this blog is not about keys or the fact the LBD lost her keys. Although that’s all I’ve talked about. It’s actually more of a cause and effect, losing the keys I mean.

Our house at the moment, is, shall we say … hang on … I’m trying to find the right phrase that won’t end with some headline of Husband Spiked To Death By Precious Woman Wearing A Black Dress Who Can’t Find Her Keys.

Our house is undergoing a transformation. That works.

With the holidays approaching, The Dress is in the midst of getting her various booths ready for her shows. She’s an artist, a designer, a take this old crappy piece of furniture and turn it into … “wow, that’s actually really nice” type. And she does mirrors lined with seashells. Which end up weighing enough to cause me to have a heart attack. But even I will admit they are really cool, especially if someone else has to hang them.

The problem is she needs somewhere to “create.” And to store all her “stuff” that she has picked up off the side of the road  discovered at those secret places only designers know about. Somewhere other than the garage and kitchen and master bedroom and living room and bonus room and …

I have actually solved this situation, which I will share in an upcoming post. So stay tuned.

Thus, right now our house is, what was the word? … oh yeah, in slight disarray.  Basically, you put something down and you may never find it again. Like losing the youngest SON of Thunder for a couple of hours the other day.

Or losing the keys.

Which leads to the point of this blog. The Dress had to take stuff to her booths. She can’t find her car keys, meaning she can’t get to said booths with said stuff. incredible works of art.

There is only one solution – The Truck.



I don’t know why, but I find it rather sexy to see the Little Black Dress in a Little Black Dress and cowboy boots driving a pickup older than she is.

And so The Dress loads up her stuff  works of art in the back of the pickup and heads off to the consignment stores where she has her booths.

And every single woman looks at The Dress. And looks at The Truck.

And every one of them says, “I need a truck.”

And so gentlemen, the point of this blog. You now have the Golden Ticket.

Don’t try the “I need a truck.”

Try, “Honey, wouldn’t you like to have a truck to haul your stuff works of art in?”

And they will say “yes … what a thoughtful idea.”

And you have your truck.

Unless of course, she needs it to move her stuff works of art.


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