Sunday’s Column – What Happened To Pencil And Paper?
bedroom at 6 a.m.
Yes, it’s the LBD’s bedroom. I just sleep there — that is, after I remove the countless pillows and other decor that turns the bed from a bed to some Southern Living magazine cover.
I digress.
The cause of this eruption was the first day of school. And apparently I had to get up right that very second to ensure the SONs would make it to school just two hours later. The Dress got up and made breakfast because apparently they would die of malnourishment if they didn’t eat the Paul Bunyan breakfast she manufactured that involved just about everything in the fridge. They ate more that morning than all the breakfasts during the summer combined.
Which is sort of a lie, because there is no such thing as breakfast in the summer. It’s more like late brunch or just plain lunch or early dinner. The SONs have a tendency to sleep in when school is not in session.
Anyway.
So school is back and the SONs are prepped. By prepped I mean our dining room table is covered with what are known as “supplies.” Lord help me. Said purchase of the myriad of so-called necessary supplies has taken a couple of weeks to gather. I have not had dinner on that table since. There is no room.
I can understand a couple of pencils, maybe a spiral notebook or two, and even some loose leaf paper. But no. Because the wonderful educators have been so kind to provide a supply list. We need wipes and a ziploc bag and facial tissue and the aforementioned spiral notebooks that must be in different colors and dry erasers and glue sticks (don’t get me going on the glue sticks) and crayons and dividers.
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But wait, there’s more. Scissors and folders and even more glue sticks — the term used was “lots,” and highlighters of assorted colors and sizes, clorox wipes, hand sanitizer (what happened to sleeves?), index cards and colored pencils. The latter must be sharpened. There’s more, but I think you get the point.
And to top it off, we have new school clothes. This is something I really don’t understand. By that I mean, why do I need to spend a couple of car payments on school clothes? What’s wrong with what they were wearing yesterday? The Dress says I must not have had a childhood.
To finish the various ensembles, the SONs are also adorned with the latest hip footwear, which all I can figure out involves the brightest neon colors imaginable. Whatever became of Converse high tops?
After discovering the cost of said shoes, I tried to ask, again, what was wrong with the shoes they had on the day before. I also tried to highlight the fact they had feet so the footwear was really irrelevant anyway.
The Dress brought up that whole childhood thing again.
School is back and the routine is slowly reforming. And the excitement is starting to wear off. The SONs are taking a little bit longer each morning to arise. I know we will be back in full routine mode when I once again use the water guns to get them up.
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