Are You Serious?

Apr 11, 2016 by winjaw

There was a storm earlier this week, which in turn knocked out the power to our house.

I know this for several reasons. The most obvious being when the Eldest and Youngest SONS of Thunder burst into our bedroom and yelled something descriptive like, “THE POWER IS OUT.”

There were a few problems with that. First, I was in a dead sleep. Second, they were wearing headlamps, the kind we use at night while backpacking. Third, they had said lights on the highest setting.

When I first woke up with those beams slamming into me, I thought of two possibilities. One was that I wrote some editorial the sheriff didn’t like and the Crime Suppression Unit wanted to have a little chat.

The second was it was time for me to depart this earth and angels were ready to guide me on my final journey. I favored the latter.

But the fact my brain was able to come up with those possibilities in a nanosecond gave me some comfort. Comfort in the fact I could still put together a cognitive thought and it was not time to take me behind the barn.

So after those two thoughts, I said the obvious – that being “what did you say.”

“THE POWER’S OUT!!!!!”

Wow, they can really be loud sometimes. And how do you know I asked them.

The response was something about them playing some video game when everything went dark. At least they are observant.

By this time I glanced at my watch, noticed the time, and did the whole dad “what are you doing up this late anyway?” routine.

“IT’S SPRING BREAK.”

I pointed out it was something like 2 a.m. and time to give it a rest and go to bed. Did I mention how loud they can be, especially after being awoken in the wee hours?

“WE CAN’T, IT’S TOO DARK.”

Let’s go back and read that one more time. Now take a moment and think about what my offspring just said. Because that’s exactly what I did. And then I did what anyone else would do facing a similar statement.

That being, “what did you just say.”
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“IT’S TOO DARK, WE CAN’T SLEEP. WE’RE SLEEPING IN HERE TONIGHT.”

“Are you serious?”

Now, while this thought provoking discussion is going on, Indiana, our rather massive Great Pyrenees/Shepherd/Mastiff, decides he is going to get up on the bed. Doing so actually tilts the mattress.

Not content to lie at the foot of the bed, said Gigantor goes to the head of the bed and literally plops on top of the Little Black Dress’ head.

And I look at the dog and say, “are you serious?” And he just looks and glances away like all dogs do when you catch them eating out of the garbage.

“He’s protecting me,” The Dress said groggily. Um no, I respond, he’s afraid of the dark.

That starts another debate.

So, let’s recap. I have a massive dog stretched all the way across the top of the bed. The only way I’m laying down is using him as a pillow. He will not take kindly to that.

At the same time, I have two SONS of Thunder yelling about the power being out and it’s too dark to sleep; all the while shining about 5,000 gigawatts of light into my eyes. Oh, and is monster dog a protector or fraidy cat?

For the third time that evening, I say, “are you serious.” This time, I’m not really sure whom I’ve talking to. Myself most likely.

So I shove Gigantor over so I have a sliver of bed space, throw the covers over my head and inform The Dress to deal with her kids about how dark is a good time to sleep.

 

Until next time.