Figuring Out How Rabbits + Eggs + WMDs = Easter

Apr 11, 2012 by

Somehow I’m going to wrap the Resurrection, the Easter Bunny and miniature weapons of mass destruction all in one blog. Bear with me.

I’ve never really wrapped my head around Easter.

It’s like some weird catch-all day. Women don beautiful dresses and incredible hats; some bunny lays (allegedly) chocolate eggs all over the yard and your new carpet; and it’s the most important day – spiritually – for Christians.

Is it really a holiday?

It’s not Christmas, which is slowly losing the “Christ” part. But Christmas is definitely the longest holiday, starting Aug. 19 this year, according to the Farmer’s Almanac and the Big Box Stores. And we give gifts and gifts we can’t afford because a bunch of wise men did two centuries ago. Or  advertisers tell us we must and we must obey. Take your pick.

It’s not Thanksgiving, where people stuff themselves silly , get into family arguments over something that happened 14 years ago, and then fall asleep on the couch. It’s not Halloween when little kids – accompanied by parental patrol units these days – knock on your door and give you the “are you serious” look and you then thrown in more candy … and more candy. And it’s not the Fourth, where we see who can blow up their fingers while we celebrate our nation’s founding with, well, explosives.

For Christians, I understand Easter. Or at least the significance. For us, it’s really Resurrection Sunday – the day Christ rose from the dead. It is what Christianity hinges on. Everyone who lives must  first be born. Everyone who is born dies. There is, for Christians, one exception to that last sentence.

I just don’t get the “Easter” part. If you do a quick Internet search, you realize it has its beginnings in pagan fertility rituals, hence the egg thing. The whole bunny concept was brought over here by the Germans in the 1700s. Kind of complicated to explain it all here.

Easter is never mentioned in the Bible. Neither, for that matter, is Christmas. But the events are – the birth of Christ, the resurrection of Christ.

I can wrap my head around Christmas. God gave us the gift of his Son. We in turn have expanded that to give gifts to each other as we celebrate Christ’s birth. And we never let commercialism get in the way.

I can’t wrap my head around Easter. Christ rises from the dead. We in turn eat chocolate eggs delivered by a bunny. And sometimes we eat the bunny too, chocolate version that is.

Maybe that’s why Easter is a little different around our house. The Dress dons a beautiful dress and a smashing hat those old English queens and princesses would die for. So far, normal.

And the SONS actually dress up somewhat. I mean at least they tuck in their shirt and tie their shoes. We tried the old cute white Peter Pan outfit on Eldest SON one year at church. Why yes, I blogged about it here. Again, so far, normal.

We no longer do the egg hunt; but there’s still chocolate to be found in various Easter baskets hidden in the exact same place every year. And again, normal so far.

But somehow we started giving weapons on Easter. I have no idea. Maybe we hit our limit at Christmas and instead of waiting an entire year, we do a mini Christmas at Easter. I guess our Bunny understands our situation. By that, I mean he helps us out.

One year it was BB guns. Again, I have no idea. But as I recall the SONS really wanted BB guns for some reason and it was Easter and birthdays and Christmas were far off in the future and it was time to celebrate the ending of winter and …

Everyone was happy. Thank you Easter Bunny.

Another year it was Airsoft guns. And I don’t mean those little pistols, but full powered auto versions and sniper rifles. There was probably a Gatling gun in there somewhere. The bunny is awesome.

This year it was machetes. 18-inch blades with a saw blade on the top. Yeah, longer than the SONS’ arms. And for the record, I helped the Bunny with the BB guns. The Dress helped the Bunny with the machetes. Somehow, the Bunny knows.

And as I write the SONS are off in the woods behind our house cutting up and down, building lean-tos and probably a deadman’s trap or two.

When the LBD was helping the bunny with the machetes, she ran into some friends standing in line. She explained what she was doing and the dad asked if we were planning on killing the bunnies. Crazy idea as the Bunny was the one behind all this. And the son said he thought he got gipped on Easter as he never got anything cool like that.

On Easter Sunday, The Dress donned her finest, the SONS combed their hair and we went off to church. Machetes were left in the car.

And afterward, friends came over and we had a big feast. And all the kids went outside promising not to cut each other’s arms off.

Celebrating Easter. Celebrating the resurrection of Christ with friends, chocolate bunnies and machetes.




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